Which of These Messed-Up Things Would You Do For $5 Million?

A new survey by Buzzfeed asked people if they’d do a bunch of MESSED-UP THINGS for five million dollars. And I’m a little afraid of how many of them I’D do for five HUNDRED dollars.

Let’s see if you’re a better person than I am. Check ’em out . . .

1. Would you only listen to country music for the rest of your life for $5 million? 54% would, 46% wouldn’t.

2. Knowing that somewhere in the world, one random person would die in exchange for you getting the money . . . with you never knowing who it is? 50% would, 50% wouldn’t.

3. Quit the Internet for the next 15 years? 45% would, 55% wouldn’t.

4. Have all your teeth removed? 42% would, 58% wouldn’t.

5. Star in a hardcore “love” video that would be the first thing that pops up whenever someone Googles your name? 33% would, 67% wouldn’t.

6. Do five years in a maximum security prison? 30% would, 70% wouldn’t.

7. Give up love making and pleasuring for the next 30 years? 26% would, 74% wouldn’t.

8. Eat a live cockroach every day for the rest of your life? 25% would, 75% wouldn’t.

9. Live in solitude for the next 20 years? 24% would, 76% wouldn’t.

10. Only eat plain oatmeal for every meal for the rest of your life? 22% would, 78% wouldn’t.

11. Have “love” with a cactus? 19% would, 81% wouldn’t.

12. Eat a large poop log with a knife and fork? 14% would, 86% wouldn’t.

13. Cut off the thumb on your dominant hand? 14% would, 86% wouldn’t.

14. Eat your pet? 8% would, 92% wouldn’t.

15. Kiss one of your parents for two hours straight? 7% would, 93% wouldn’t.

16. Never bathe again or use deodorant? 7% would, 93% wouldn’t.

17. Never use a bathroom again and only go in your pants? 5% would, 95% wouldn’t.

18. Get a realistic private part tattooed on your face? 4% would, 96% wouldn’t.